I will be the first person to tell you that I have screwed the pooch at parenting a time or two.

Nothing Earth-shatteringly profound is coming to mind at the moment, but I know there are some doozies out there that I’m currently blocking out of my memory.

The reason I’m bringing this up? Because of what happened on Monday.

I have been known to let TV parent my kids for me from time to time, usually when I’m trying to make a meal.

I can literally FEEL you guys shaking your heads at me in disapproval. Trust me, it’s NOT gonna be a thing anymore after Monday.

See, Monday I decided that I was gonna make an actual meal – not just one main dish and call it good. Nope, I was gonna try and get almost all of the food groups in there.

So I picked up some ground turkey at Target, purchased some more packets of instant potatoes (don’t judge me!), and had already filled in the blanks from my memory of our pantry on what I was gonna make once we got home.

Got the kids settled, grabbed a steam-in-bag of frozen veggies, hauled the baby gate downstairs, set it up in the entry of the kitchen and got to work.

Why the gate? See, Seraphina has this CUTE habit of running in and out of the kitchen whenever we’re trying to do something in there.

Please note that when I say “cute” I’m being sarcastic, just to spell it out for you.

She will run into the pantry, grab something, and run out of the room giggling until you tackle her and take whatever it is away from her (usually a box of Poptarts). She will blindly reach up onto the counter for whatever she can find that will most inflict damage (how did those scissors get left out? PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE!). She will try to open up the fridge to get her own sippy cup of milk.

At this point, I think you get the idea.

To keep her from messing on the stove or doing anything else in the kitchen, I put up the gate and got to work.

I should have realized that something was amiss when she wasn’t running to the gate every 2 minutes to talk to me.

After dinner was ready, and I had started to transfer food to the table, I called out that it was time to eat.

I wasn’t mentally prepared for what I saw when I turned around.

Seraphina was COVERED in marker.

I FREAKED OUT.

The first place I looked was on the walls in the dining room, since Persephone had been using my markers earlier in the day to color a nice thank you card for her bus driver at the dining room table.

The box was half empty, and the other markers were nowhere to be found.

Until I got into the living room… where they were sitting on the white carpet in front of the TV. The very SAME TV that Persephone was currently obliviously staring at.

I may have lost my cool a little bit and shrieked “WHY WEREN’T YOU WATCHING HER?!” in my best impersonation of a crazy person.

See, remember that whole “screwed the pooch at parenting” bit that I mentioned? ALL OF THIS IS THAT.


In the end, it was fine – no lasting damage to Sera or the house, and we all learned a valuable lesson.

Persephone learned that she needs to put away any and all writing utensils after she’s done using them.

Seraphina learned that it’s not okay to draw on yourself.

And I learned that from now on, the kids are playing in the playroom where there is no TV when Mommy is making dinner… and that perhaps a glass of wine wouldn’t be remiss every now and then.

Until next time,

L

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